Mia's First Month--the ramblings

Wow! Has it really been a month already?! I think I'm onto something here--just pack your schedule absolutely full with big-brother-commitments and out-of-town houseguests during the newborn phase; time will fly by and you'll forget how sleep-deprived you actually are. It's been a good month. Mia is maintaining her easy-going personality--she's a great eater, she sleeps during the night (minus a couple of feedings, of course) and is tolerant of her over-zealous brother. We're working on his boundary issues (see photo below of Nate trying to help Mia "play" in her swing).

She's developing a bit of a schedule:

• 7:00 wake-up & feed
• about 1 hour "awake time"
• 3 hour morning nap
• noon feed
• diaper change and 15-minutes or so of mental/physical stimulation
• 2-3 hour afternoon nap
• 2:30 or so, snack
• another nap
• afternoon awake period (starts anywhere from 4-6:00)
• dinner time
• 8:00-ish another feeding
• between 9-10:00, bedtime
• first night feeding between midnight and 1:00 am

She had her one month well-check today (an extra checkup due to a hint of jaundice at 2 weeks). Doctor Grant said she is doing very well--alert, taking in her surroundings, strong neck, etc. I had a list of questions that he answered.

1. When she feeds, she often pulls away and chokes, gags, gasps for air. Is this normal?
*Yes, especially at times when it's been awhile since she's fed and there's an "ample" milk supply.

2. Yesterday, I thought I saw some cradle cap, today it's not as obvious. Does it look like she has cradle cap and do you have any remedies?
*It's perfectly normal for babies to cycle in and out of what is called seborrhoeic dermatitis. I received a sample of medicated shampoo to use if it gets worse before it gets better. He said it was very mild and he's not concerned right now.

3. There is a small rash developing on her chest. Should I treat it somehow or just let it work its course?
*He thought the rash was tied to the seborrhoeic dermatitis (see above). If we control the patches on the head, it should in turn take care of the rash on her chest. He said to continue to monitor and rub with Eucerin as needed. If it starts to bother her (i.e., scratching), we can treat with 1% hydrocortisone ointment.

4. She has a bit of congestion. Is it enough to be concerned about?
*He thought her lungs sounded great. What we're hearing is dried mucous in her nose that's causing a "rattling" sound.

5. Her toenails seem to grow into her big toes. Is this something that needs intervention or will it work itself out? Right now the toenails are super thin, almost like paper. As she gets older, the toenails will get stronger and work themselves onto the outside of the toe.

And, after peeing on the nurse at the weight station, we did get her stats:

• Length = 22 in (75th percentile on my doctor's chart)
• Weight= 10 pounds 13 oz (90%)
• Head cir = 15 in

Now onto the rambling...this parenting gig never turns out like you imagine it will during the nine (10) months of pregnancy. In one of my pregnancy books, it talks about how there are few situations where your life changes so drastically practically overnight than the rite of parenthood. You walk into the hospital with one life and leave with an entirely different set of perspectives, concerns, and responsibilities.

Immediately after birth pregnancy slips into the past and the mother becomes immersed in a whole new set of experiences, sensations, and concerns. Particularly with a first baby, birth is not only an event but a rite of passage in which the mother, father and baby pass from one set of roles, with its privileges and requirements, to another with new rewards and demands. In fact, there is probably no greater life transformation in modern Western culture that takes place within such a relatively short period of time. One day the expectant parents are a couple filled with anticipation; the next they are a family with a new knowledge of the world, embarked on one of life's most demanding and creative endeavors.

"The New Well Pregnancy Book"

This certainly rang true with Baby #1. I thought it would be less of an issue with Baby #2. It's not. Our lives are forever changed (again). I suppose the three of us had developed our own rhythm, our family routine over the past three years. Now we have to find our new groove. I also thought I would get frustrated with the baby for interfering with my Nate time. In reality it's the other way around. With Amelia, I long for the intense bonding experience I had with Nate--hours with just the two of us, marathon nursing sessions, reading my parenting books & articles with him asleep in my lap on the boppy, long stroller walks along the seawall, playing developmental games whenever his eyes were open, etc. I know this time around will be different. I know there will be pros and cons to our routine with Amelia, too. I've already learned how to help her sleep better at night (thanks to trial and error with Nate). So, as with the rest of the parenting roller coaster, I must remember to sit back and enjoy the ride!

3 Week Report

Life is good.

We survived the week with Grandma and Grandpa Breyen! Their flight arrived from Minnesota without incident on Tuesday, April 15th (Tax Day--we've already spent our refund!) We welcomed them to San Antonio with a traditional supper of Indian take-out from our favorite local hole-in-the-wall. Amelia seemed to enjoy the ethnic flavors of Lamb Korma, Saag Paneer, and Kashmiri Nan at her next feeding!

Wednesday morning I went to BSF to show off pictures of Amelia to my friends in class (Amelia won't be able to attend the children's program until she's 2 years old); but I also wanted to get Nate back into his "Bible class" routine. He always talks about his friends Samantha, Kate, Kaitlyn, William and Joshua (of course, I've never met any of these little playmates...I suppose the separate life away from Mommy's bubble starts young). While I was gone (for only 2 hours and 20 minutes!), Grandma gave Amelia her first bottle (a bittersweet moment for Mommy)! Grandma reported she was a little hesitant at first, just letting the nipple hang in the side of her mouth; but after a few sucks, the 2 ounces were gone. That's why I left the milk in the refrigerator, I suppose! She breastfed as eagerly as usual when I got home, so everyone was happy in the end! :)

Thursday we took Mia to Martha's Mexican Restaurant--her first dinner out! I think she likes the flavor of chili rellenos, too! On Friday, we laid low and used the down-time to get some more projects done around the house. Saturday, we took the kids to their first Fiesta! event--the First Annual Fiesta de los Ninos. Nate had fun playing mini golf (for the first time--it looked more like polo the way he hit the ball with the club!), jumping in the bouncy castle and riding the spinning rabbit ride with another little boy he was standing next to in line. Mia slept through most of the cacophony. Then on Sunday, Amelia's name was announced in front of our congregation to welcome her as the newest arrival to First Baptist Church San Antonio. She had a little pink rose next to the preacher's chair to commemorate her birth. Grandma and Grandpa were there for the event.We completed a lot of back-burner projects while my parents were in town. Dad cooked almost every night, installed a screen door, fixed our laminate trim, hung a cabinet to increase storage in the master bath and finished several miscellaneous handyman tasks that didn't get done before baby arrived. Mom sewed a khaki Mei Tei carrier with pink insert, a "Hooter Hider" for nursing, and Mia's eclectic-shabby-chic valences for her pink & black nursery.

My mom was amazed at how much more alert Amelia became in just the short week that they were here. She is. She's unfolded a lot, so she's not always bundled in her newborn-cocoon stance. Her neck strength is increasing, so she doesn't bobble around as much. She maintains eye contact with you for short periods of time and seems to really observe her surroundings when she's awake--especially ceiling fans, windows, mirrors and anything with sharp contrast. Nate is still in love with his sister and wants to make sure she's happy at all times. He's an avid "helper" grabbing diapers, trying to assist Mia onto the breast, piling toys into the swing for her to play with "when she wakes up" or "when she gets bigger," and singing songs or kissing her when she's fussin' (that's his word).

On a side note, we'd put no pressure on potty training before Mia arrived. Everything we read and the stories we heard said there will only be regression when the baby arrives. However, Nate now has an increased interest in potty training! He's using the toilet for poopy at least twice a day! I think he is proud to be a big brother. In his mind, with the new title comes new responsibility. He's been letting us know in many subtle and not-so-subtle ways that he is no longer the baby of this house. Besides potty training, he now wants to put his diaper on standing up; he will not let me or Jason brush his teeth, "you stay out there;" he wants to pick out his own clothes, "that shirt is not good," "I don't like those shoes," "I want to be silly with one blue shoe and one brown shoe;" he prefers to take a shower "like Daddy" over bathtime with toys (and he's always loved bathtime!); and he doesn't want us to provide direction during clean up time before bed, "[frustrated grunt-scream]...you don't talk words, I know what to do" he tells us when we ask him to start with the cars or take apart his train tracks first. All of this behavior is new since Amelia's arrival.

That's the story of Amelia's third week of life. This weekend, my sister and her brood arrive from Iowa. (Hmmm...five kids under 4 running around the house--sounds relaxing!)

Mia is One Week Old!

Well, we've made it a week! Jason ended up with 5 days at home with his new family--his 3 personal days flowed right into the weekend. He was great with keeping Nate occupied while Amelia and I found our breastfeeding rhythm. They went to the Bass Pro Shop with Papa (and came home with strawberry fudge); HEB for groceries (and came home with a balloon for Mia); the garden centers around the neighborhood to pick out colorful perennials for the back fence, herbs for the garden and two small trees for visual interest. They actually found Amelia variety tomatoes, too! The boys planted the namesake vegetables and the rest of the greenery Saturday afternoon (see photo of Nate watering his sister's tomatoes).

Sunday, we were planning to make our big family debut at church; but I woke up not feeling quite up to the challenge. My milk came in Saturday night (yes, "Elsie" is back). I don't know if that drained my energy reserves or what. We opted to stay home and not push our luck.

On Monday Amelia had her post-hospital, 3-day well visit with Dr. Grant. My MIL, Jeanie, came down for the morning to watch Nate. She even took him to Jim's Restaurant for a special corn dog meal and cinnamon ice cream! (He'd really wanted to go to Jim's Sunday night for supper for some reason; so she scored big Granna points!)

Here are Amelia's well-baby stats:

• Length: 20.75 inches (a bad measurement at the hospital, or she's grown an inch already!)
• Weight: 8 pounds, 4 oz (back above her birth weight)
• Head cir: 13.75
• A slight touch of jaundice, but within the range of "normal"
• Her first shot...Hep B

Yesterday was my first official day alone with the two kids. It was an extended day, too, since Jason had the night call shift on his pediatrics rotation and didn't make it home until 7:30. I rallied my inner super mom and got everyone ready for MOPS by 8:45 (including a shower for me and a second morning feeding for Mia!) I'm glad I went. It was nice to wear real clothes (as opposed to the maternity shorts and nursing tanks I'd been wearing all weekend) and chat with the girls! I really wanted to go to get Nate out of the house and into his "normal routine" (if normal even exists anymore). Amelia stayed in her sling the entire time (even for her feeding), so anxious, well-meaning hands were kept away from her until next MOPS meeting--I promised they could hold her next time! We made decorative flower pots and planted some annuals. It will be a test to see how well I do nurturing two different things at the same time! I thought it appropriate that one of the Bible verses available for our flower pots was 1 Peter 2:2, "Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation."

And Baby Makes 4, Life at Home

We are home!! Jason and I arrived home with Amelia Thursday afternoon. We were very happy with our stay at Methodist, but it's nice to be home. (The one thing I missed last night was the option to have the nurses take Amelia down to the nursery so Jason and I could catch a 3-hour block of sleep!) Last night went well. She's a good feeder--a natural nurser from the moment the delivery nurse laid her on my chest after birth--latch and suck; my kids seem to know how to eat!

We had several visitors in the hospital (which was a change for us. Nate was born on a weekend so the grapevine didn't spread the news as quickly and he was born overseas in Okinawa, Japan so it was a little hard for family to just stop on by.) Of course Bill & Jeanie (Amelia's Granna & Papa) were there, later Nate came up to meet his little sister, several members of our church dropped in to wish us well, our neighbor who works at Methodist, and Wendy and Charles who are on their psych rotation--so they had nothing but time Jason says! Now that we're home, we've had many more visitors (some bearing hot meals, flowers, gifts or well-wishes)--mostly friends from medical school and our great neighbors.

To answer the 3 most-commonly asked questions:

1. How did you find the name Amelia? It's the name that we picked out for Nathaniel if he'd been a girl. We both liked it (which for those of you who've gone through the naming process as a couple know is a feat in itself). It means "industrious, striving." Of course we like that; but I think the fact that both of us were pilots in that phase of our lives influenced us a little more (you might have heard of an aviatrix named Amelia Earhart!) ;) When we first shared the name with Nate, he couldn't quite say Amelia (he's much better now). He would say "A-meeya;" hence bestowing her nickname, Mia. Grace is a family name--my great aunt's name on my mother's side.


2. Who does she look like? When she was first born, I thought she looked exactly like her big brother, Nate. Now that she's unfolding a little more, she definitely has her own look. I think she'll also be a good blend of both me and Jason. She seems to have my darker skin tone with Jason's long eyelashes and his mouth & chin. We'll see if she gets his dimples, too!


3. How are things going? (tied with, "How do you feel?") I think so far (and I almost hate to type this), she's an easy-going personality. When she was born, the nurse exclaimed, "That's not a cry; we need to get this baby to cry soon." But the shrieking, wailing cry expected in the delivery room has yet to surface. I know babies don't wake up to the world for a few days and even then can pull a fast one on you for a few weeks--changing their needs & personalities overnight; but I would currently label her "easy-going" (if I were into labeling, that is). Sleep--eat--poop--change--repeat...what's to be fussy about?
4. As for me, I'm a lot more sore "down there" than I remember being after my first delivery. And the uterus cramping back down to size while I'm breast-feeding...ouch! I'm glad a girlfriend warned me of the increased cramping the second time around. The pain is about a 4 on the hospital's pain scale--right up there with my early labor contractions on Wednesday! Oh, and suddenly it's not so fun to have hard, laminate floors. I could use a donut cushion (like those hemorrhoids pillows). We'll see how I feel mentally once the sleep deprivation catches up with me; but so far, I actually feel like I might pull this two-child-parenting-gig off (or at least fool them for awhile).

Nate loves his baby sister. He's very cooperative at diaper changes (he gets to pick out the diaper--he seems to like Baby Oscar and Baby Grover), he lets Mia feed when "it's time for her breast milk," and gives her lots of hugs and kisses (unfortunately he's a three-year-old brute and doesn't understand his own strength). We're trying to tone down the lay-your-full-body-weight-on-top-of-her hugs. I'm waiting for the tide to turn, but don't want to focus too much on what might happen!

Here are some cute quotes from Nate:

• "She is such a cute baby."
• "I'm glad Mia is home, she's fun."
• "She sleeps a lot."
• "Look, Mom! Mia is looking at me. She likes me."
• "I like her."
• "I just give her kisses."
• "I like her to be back!" (big grin on his face)
• "When she gets bigger, she gets a pink bow in her hair."
• "Look at her teeny, tiny fingers!"

Amelia's Baby Story

In reality, I couldn't have ordered a better birth experience. Amelia was really quite considerate with her timing and efficiency, the hospital staff was excellent and we've been flooded by friends & family sharing in our excitement!

For posterity's sake, here's a written record of Amelia's birth:
*WARNING: be sure you want to read this, details of the labor and birthing process to follow!*

5:30 am--Sleep in (with my insomnia, I had been getting up and staying up at 4:00), wake up to an intense contraction, then feel my underwear get wet. Hmmm...did my water break or did I just wet my pants? (I did have a full bladder from sleeping through the night and perhaps I lost control with the contraction.)

Jason gets up (he'd been sleeping in the front guest room because of my supposed snoring) and I advise him, "I think something's happening."

6:00--All signs point towards my water breaking--lots of fluid, a little bloody discharge, continued wetness (I'd filled two maxi-pads by 6:15), contractions becoming increasingly more annoying--OK, painful, throughout the morning.

6:30--Call doctor's office & family, tell them we're going in (first, shower and eat bowl of oatmeal--my "last meal" for who knows how long!)
7:00--Call the neighbors to arrange drop-off for Nate; put last remnants of laundry away, unload dishwasher, make bed

8:00--Arrive at hospital; check-in to L&D (they ask us if we're a scheduled induction--it is quite a convenient time!); get shown room, prepped, answer my oodles of questions
9:00--I'm considered a full admit, Nurse Linda checks me (while I'm having a contraction...ouch!), I'm already at 6 centimeters (just 4 more to go)! Decide to grit down and "see what my body can do."
9:45--Crush Jason's hand with each contraction; they're coming about every 4 minutes.

10:00--Request & receive awesome epidural from Dr. Hearn--feel no pain, yet still feel a tiny bit of the end of each contraction. Smile. Enjoy the rest of labor much more.
12:00--Feel the need to push. Yes, indeed! I'm complete!

12:15--Put on hold, on-call doctor needs to assist on a c-section! She yells into my room as she's passing by, "Don't let her push yet!" Huh. I'm thinking how ticked off I would be if I didn't have my epidural and I'm waiting through 45 minutes of extra contractions. Jason says, "I'm giving her until 12:45. Then I'm gowning up and delivering this baby on my own!" She walked into the room just in time!
12:45--Meet Dr. Cerny-Leecock, seems a great personality match for me...probably the doctor I should have been seeing the whole time! Start pushing with my next contraction. At the last minute, I remembered to ask for the mirror.

13:02--Amelia Grace arrives in this world (pushed about 12 times, 3 or 4 times through 3 contractions)...an absolutely wonderful birth experience!

Stats:

• 8 pounds 3.5 ounces, 19 3/4 inches
• Head = 14 cm
• Full head of brown hair
• Steel gray eyes
• APGAR: 8/9

Granna & Papa were there to welcome thier new granddaughter!

OK. I might, in fact, be pregnant!

I suppose I'm coming to the realization that this is indeed happening. I am in fact pregnant; and we will probably have a newborn in the house within the next week or so. Huh. I do feel a little more comfortable with the idea now that most of the to-do list is checked off. We just finished a weekend of uber-baby-set-up! I was intentionally waiting until Nate's birthday party, Easter, and Jason's surgery rotation had passed to really focus on baby-prep. We pulled out all the gear--washed the seat covers, scrubbed down the frames, set up the swings and the baby bouncers, positioned the co-sleeper (like a bassinet that pushes right up against your bed), created a diaper station, packed the hospital bags, assembled her diaper bag, picked out & washed her going-home outfit, etc. We left the guest bed in the nursery, since we're going to have company until the first week in May ("Hooray" for Moms, Dads, sisters and families!); so the crib is not set-up yet. In reality, it doesn't need to be since she'll be sleeping in the cosleeper in our room for the first few months. She now has everything she should need upon her arrival home (as far as I can remember). Now that her gear is in order and April is practically here (diamond birthstone, people!), she's free to enter this world at her leisure...minding she comes this week! ;)

I've been having Braxton-Hicks contractions since the start of the year. They've been much more regular since the beginning of this month. They are certainly increasing in frequency and duration this week, but not that much change in intensity. I actually got sick on Tuesday night. WARNING! Graphic details to follow: It was quite an experience, vomiting and having contractions at the same time!

I was not able to see Dr. Kuhl on Friday. My appointment was for 11:15. At 11:50, I was called into the back to start my vitals. While I was on the scale, Dr. Kuhl approaches us to say he has to go deliver a baby (he was on-call that day). I was a little more disappointed than I might have been because Jason was there to meet Dr. Kuhl. (He finished his big surgery test at 11:15 and showed up a few minutes later--luckily the clinic is 3 minutes from his school. He had the weekend off before he starts his pediatrics rotation tomorrow.) He has yet to meet him. After delivery, Dr. Kuhl was scheduled to go right into surgery. It would be another hour's wait to see one of the midwives; and, again, it was lunchtime and momma was hungry! Alas, I just rescheduled for today. That's when we found out Dr. Kuhl was on vacation this whole week. So, if I go into labor, he won't be there anyway. I give up.

I did have my 39-week appointment today. Like I said, Dr. Kuhl is on leave this week, so I saw one of the midwives in his office. She let Nate help with the whole appt--measuring my belly (40 cm), pouring the gel on my belly, holding the heartbeat Doppler and finding Baby's heart rate, cleaning me off, etc. He was quite proud of himself. Baby Girl is doing well inside my belly; but my cervix is still pretty high (which doesn't necessarily mean anything). I'll probably get my April baby!

So I've been having more and more "pregnancy moments" as this 9 (10) months draws to a close. Although with this pregnancy-induced insomnia waking me up at all hours of the night (giving me about 5 hours of sleep now per night), these moments of flightiness could be a result of "sleep deprivation." I showed up to a bowling alley birthday party 2 hours early--luckily I had the invitation with me so I could confirm the error of my ways. On a Monday, I brought a 50% off coupon to Michaels good for Sunday only (in BOLD print). I knew it was a one-day-only coupon; but in my head the coupon was for Monday. (Not bad by itself, but Nate was the one using the coupon to buy a Thomas bridge with his birthday money. He did not quite understand when I told him--at the check-out counter--we'd have to come back later. Jason ended up bringing the regular 40% off coupon and we threw in the extra money!) I also filled my tank with super premium the other day (instead of basic unleaded)--quite a costly mistake right now!

Then last night I had two pregnancy dreams. In the first dream, I was driving home with our brand-new, beautiful baby girl in her carseat. I was looking at her in the back of the car, happy and proud; but couldn't remember giving birth. I remembered nothing about the hospital stay. I even pulled up my shirt to see if I had a cesarean scar and had been under heavy sedation of some sort. There was no scar. This baby came out of my hoo-hoo, but I didn't remember any part of the process. Jason was nowhere to be found. I was quite distraught.

In the second dream, I brought the kids to Sea World one summer day. I put Baby Girl in the corner in her carrier so she could watch me and Nate play in the water. Nate told me he wanted to go down the waterslide, so we went. Then we remembered that the Shamu show started soon, so we went on to see the performance. Yes, forgetting all about Baby Girl in her carrier! I came back hours later and Baby was still where I'd left her, smiling. That reminds me of the "will I be a competent parent?" dreams I had while carrying Nate. In one dream, I lost him in the clothes racks at a store. I was panicking, but couldn't remember my own son's name. I was searching the store yelling, "Kid! Kid?! Where are you?!"

In the Words of James Brown, "I Feel Good!"

Now I know why I remember enjoying my pregnancy with Nate...I feel great! She must have moved off of my sciatic when she got into position, I have nesting energy and she's really active so I'm getting excited to meet her. The only downside? With this nesting energy comes insomnia. When I wake up, my mind is spinning. I can't shut off my brain to fall back asleep. I'm averaging about 6-hours a night--which is quite manageable (but not my usual call for 8.5 hours for my body & mind to be fully rested). This might have happened with Nate, too; although I don't recall it. I think this time it's bothering me more because I know what I'm in for! I'm really going to want those extra hours when the baby gets here. Those first few weeks, er, months of sleep deprivation are HARD.

I started my weekly OB appointments today (blood pressure 112/78 and the magical 35-pound mark for weight gain). Of course, the errand I ran beforehand didn't take nearly as long as I anticipated, so I arrived 20 minutes early. Then, Dr. Kuhl was running an HOUR behind. Nate and I entertained ourselves with the stethoscope, blood pressure cuff, tape measure, stirrups, lights, gloves, and ultrasound gel (because naturally I left his diaper bag/entertainment in the car for my routine 5-minute appointment!) It was actually pretty cute--after putting the gloves on, listening to my heart with the stethoscope, measuring my belly and pretending to pour gel on my belly; he was ready to assist Dr. Kuhl. After listening to Baby Girl's heartbeat, Nate stands on the step of the exam table with his gloves and a kleenex and tells Dr. Kuhl, "I want to help!" And he did. He wiped off the gel and threw both his tissue and Dr. Kuhl's away. After waiting 1 hour and 20 minutes, I was literally in the exam room with Dr. Kuhl for 3 minutes ("everything's normal...you're term, get ready"). I was so hungry (how can you leave a 37-week pregnant lady waiting for an hour at lunch time?!), I was in no mood for small talk. The extra questions will have to wait until next week. I needed to get some food in my belly before I passed out (that's what I felt like anyway). I understand life happens, but at least validate my parking when you're running so far behind (and bring me a bagel)!

In the miscellaneous category, I'm still keeping up with yoga. It's more of a beginner's class, so she's not working me too hard aerobically. I'm able to modify as-needed quite easily. I'm craving everything--food in general is good. I've eaten a lot of sweets between baby showers and birthdays. I'm really, really trying to cut back on my sugar again and reach for those cherry tomatoes, carrots, grapes, and yogurt when I need a quick bite of something. I've been eating a lot of scrambled egg sandwiches with chipotle cheddar cheese, cottage cheese, flavored gourmet popcorn (a gift from a friend), oatmeal and cereal (bien sur!)--especially Life, Oatmeal Squares, and Total Raisin Bran. I'm trying to use Frosted Mini Wheats to fill my sweet cravings these days. I'm still having Braxton Hicks contractions daily; and, yes, they are getting longer, more frequent and more intense!